Skip to page content |

Tiscali Quicklinks. Please visit our Accessibility Page for a list of the Access Keys you can use to find your way around the site, skip directly to the main navigation, to the page content, or to more links within community.



Main Navigation


 Home  
  Products  
  My Tiscali  
  Living  
  Money  
  Motoring  
  News  
  Play to Win  
  Shop  
  Sport  
  Travel  
  Video  
  Help 

I feel trapped by my family

Who cares?

If you have a problem that you would like other members to help with, or if you would like to answer another reader's conundrum, then we would love to hear from you.

I feel trapped by my family | Prev

I feel trapped by my family

Hiya. I am 24. I was raised by overprotective parents and I am the youngest in the family. My dad passed away, mum is still alive. I moved in with my 36-year-old sister, her husband who was attacked by stroke and my nephew. The reason I moved in with them was for emotional support as my sister was really going through a tough time.

I am thankful that my family raised me into the woman I am today BUT I am very stressed because 1. I am not allowed to be in relationship. 2. I can't go out. 3. Both my mom and my sister will not allow me to move out on my own though I do work, have saved up enough cash to buy myself a house ,I am responsible, I can do house work, cook, laundry.

The problem is my family will cut ties with me if I do move out anyway without saying anything. I am tempted to pack and go because nobody listens to me and I am not going to whine about my needs like a little girl. I feel trapped and suffocated, it really frustrates me. I have never been a bad girl in the past. never gone out late, never been disrespectful to my family. All of this is problematic. Am I a hostage here?

I have been thinking of leaving this place so that I can live my own life where nobody dictates me so that I can learn from my own mistakes. On the other hand I don't want to lose my family. I even lost the man of my dreams because I am not allowed to go out.

Why can't they understand that I am grown up and won't be a 'baby' forever and that they have to let go and let me grow up and see the world? All this makes me emotionally withdrawn and depressed. HELP!!!

Stressed

CommentsPlease login to leave a comment or report a post

Added: 30 September 2008 14:58
Dave in Spain, Refugee from New Labour says:
There are many kinds of abuse and this appears to be one of them. At 24, your life should be full and happy but it appears you are a virtual prisoner and being subjected to emotional blackmail by the threats to cut all ties. If you are being physically prevented from going out this is clearly illegal as it is false imprisonment but I do understand your reluctance to tackle the issue from a legal point of view as you obviously love your family. Have you tried contacting Citizen's Advice or even the Samaritans or is your freedom too curtailed even for this? At some point you will have to make a stand and assert your individuality and the longer you leave it the more difficult it will become so you really have to make a start now. You don't say if you are working, but if so there may be a sympathetic shop steward who can point you in the direction of more appropriate assistance, if you are not working then discuss the problem with your Job Centre staff, who may also be able to put you in touch with a more appropriate agency. This is a very delicate, although not unique, family situation and you will need someone on your side to help you through it. One of my neighbours when I still lived in UK was 98 and was looked after by her youngest daughter who by that time was 76 and had also never been allowed a boyfriend or to leave home (or watch TV after 10pm!). You really don't want this to happen so get help.
Added: 27 September 2008 20:24
Michael says:
Where do I find tiscali chat line if you still do it.
I have looked everywhere on this site.
Added: 11 September 2008 10:05
Sally says:
Why do you need to move without saying anything? Start looking for a house - although now may not be the best time to buy as prices still seem to be going down - locally to your family. Tell them you want to do it as an investment. They can't stop you as you are an adult and may need to come to terms with it over time. Keep asking them their advice about the right kind of property to buy so that they know you value their advice and opinions and that you still need them. If it is close they can be sure that they won't lose you and try to make them see that.

Page: 1

Please login to leave a comment or report a post

Terms and Conditions of Use for Tiscali comments
Samaritans

Samaritans

The Samaritans provide confidential non-judgemental emotional support, 24 hours a day.
Depression Alliance

Depression Alliance

Are you in crisis or feeling desperate? Depression Alliance is the leading UK charity for people affected by depression.

Submit your problem

Send your problem to mysnaps@uk.tiscali.com

Advertisement starts



Advertisement ends

Advertisement starts



Advertisement ends

Page Footer


Access keys


You will need to use different key combinations in order to use access keys depending on your internet browser, find out which on our accessibility page.
  • (0) Navigate to Accessibility page.
  • (1) Navigate to Home page.
  • (2) Navigate to My email.
  • (3) Navigate to My Account.
  • (4) Navigate to Site Map page.
  • (5) Navigate to Contact us page.
  • (6) Navigate to Members channel.
  • (7) Navigate to Services channel.
  • (8) Navigate to News & Info channel.
  • (9) Navigate to Entertainment channel.
  • ([) Skip down to the Primary navigation block.
  • (]) Skip down to the more links within this section block.
  • (=) Bypass all navigation and jump to the content.
Background images used:
furniture images used in the site icons used in the site images used in the header